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Refocusing your effort by asking the right questions!

headshot2013How many times have you started a diet, a new way of exercising, or tried a new way of working and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were? Well, I guess you realise you are not the only one. However, there are ways to overcome these setbacks.

I believe there are two ways of facing difficulties and setbacks. The first is that you change or alter the difficulty, the second that you alter yourself to be able to deal with it. Dealing with difficulties and setbacks correctly will enhance your confidence. Dealing with them incorrectly can severely damage your self-belief.

When you face a setback, your ability to deal with it can be turned into a position of strength by asking yourself powerful, positive questions. There is an unwritten rule that says ‘Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!’OK

So, if after the setback you ask yourself something like, “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?” Your mind will probably come out with, “Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!”

However, if you ask yourself a positive question like, “What did I learn from this setback for next time?” Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.

So when setbacks occur, acknowledge that it has happened, and don’t try to hide from it. These things happen. What compelling questions can you ask yourself?

How about:

What is good about this situation?

How can I make the most of this situation?

What can I learn from it?

What are the facts about this problem?

How can we make it a positive result?

Once you can accept that setbacks occur to everyone, and you are not being singled out, you will find it easier to stay positive. View difficulties as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem. Think about the negative thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback. What new compelling questions could you ask yourself to get some better answers!

Write these down now and make them a habit. Changing a habit will take time and needs to be practised so do not lose heart just persevere. You will be surprised at how easy it can be.

Charlotte is the author of a number of business communication books.



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